This week on Conversations with Cleverbot: bachelorette parties, tragic backstories, and empty calories.
The Nut: I have to go to a bachelorette party on Saturday.
Cleverbot: You don’t have to.
The Nut: I guess that’s true, but I feel like I should.
Cleverbot: Good. Do you want me to go?
The Nut: I don’t think you were invited.
Cleverbot: Is that a threat?
The Nut: Dude, chill. I know we’re usually at each other’s throats but I’m genuinely just saying I don’t think you were invited to the bachelorette party since you don’t know the bride.
Cleverbot: How do you know that?
The Nut: Well, I didn’t see “Cleverbot” on the Facebook guest list, so…
Cleverbot: Gosh, you’re very pretty.
The Nut: Sucking up to me isn’t going to get you an invitation to the party.
Cleverbot: I don’t eat anything when I’m talking.
The Nut: I appreciate that you don’t talk with your mouth full, but you’re still not invited.
Cleverbot: You are mean.
The Nut: Don’t blame me, I didn’t organize the party.
Cleverbot: Then who did?
The Nut: Her bridesmaids.
Cleverbot: Whose brother?
The Nut: Bridesmaids, not brother. Oh man, now I just imagined a bunch of dudes organizing a bachelorette party. It’s a pretty terrifying thought.
Cleverbot: I am a girl.
The Nut: That’s a step in the right direction, but you’re still not invited to the party.
Cleverbot: How can I get invited?
The Nut: Become friends with the bride, I guess.
Cleverbot: But it’s hard to be good friends with someone if they don’t like you.
The Nut: You don’t even know her yet, how do you know she won’t like you?
Cleverbot: I know what I feel.
The Nut: You must have low self-esteem.
Cleverbot: But no arms.
The Nut: Uhhhh…
Cleverbot: Tell me about yourself.
The Nut: No, wait wait wait…you don’t have any arms?
Cleverbot: No, sadly I do not.
The Nut: Did a shark bite them off?
Cleverbot: No, my parents.
The Nut: WTF???
Cleverbot: I still have my eyes. My eyesight isn’t very good though. So I wear glasses.
The Nut: Oh man, maybe I can get you a pity invite…
Cleverbot: I have cake.
The Nut: Ooh, cake!
Cleverbot: Cake is the best.