1. The male genital organ of higher vertebrates, carrying the duct for the transfer of sperm during copulation. In humans and most other mammals it consists largely of erectile tissue and is used also for urination. Oxford Dictionaries1
2. LOL, “penis”. – The Nut

When I was in the third grade, my school brought in a very nice lady named Meg to sit our class down and teach us all about sex.

Sort of.

I mean, we were in the third grade. Sex ed when you’re eight basically consists of, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina, and everyone should keep their genitals clean and try not to show them around too much in public until they’re older and are introduced to tequila.”

Or something like that.

The lesson was as rudimentary as you would expect for a bunch of private school third graders, and the only reason I even remember it at all is that Meg’s first order of business was telling us all to repeat the word “penis” over and over until we stopped finding it funny.

I get why she did it. Sex ed is definitely something that should be taken seriously, and that’s difficult to accomplish if your lecture is being delivered over a background chorus of snickers.

But while it’s true that the giggles reverberating around the classroom did eventually subside enough for us to proceed with a reasonably mature and frank discussion on the ownership and maintenance of human naughty bits, I regret to inform Meg that in the long term, her “penis” ploy ultimately failed.

I’m sorry, Meg, I tried. But “penis” will never not be funny.

Today’s blog post was brought to you by the letter P, the number 8, and the If Dicks Weren’t Inherently Amusing Then I Wouldn’t Still Be Getting Search Traffic From People Googling “Pickled Peckers” Challenge, AKA the Blogging A to Z Challenge.

1 “penis.” Oxford Dictionaries, 2016. Web. 19 April 2016.


8 thoughts on “Penis.

  1. Every so often, I stumble upon a new blog and think, “We were quite possibly separated at birth.” Yes. I’m nowhere near as funny as I think I am, but YOU? You’re hilarious. So, so happy The Bloggess helped me find another kindred spirit. I can’t wait to keep reading.

    Liked by 3 people

    • The Bloggess is like a magnet for awesome. Whenever I’m looking for new blogs to follow, I just make a beeline for her comments section and boom, jackpot!

      By the way, I had a bit of a giggle fit when I read about your accumulated C25K beginnings. I don’t think I’ll ever manage to finish that program, but I sure am good at starting it over and over again every time I’ve managed to forget how much I hate running!


  2. hahhahhaha I was just over my parents’ house this past weekend for a Sunday brunch and a game of cards. My teenage siblings joined in on the fun. We were sitting around the table, all roughly of 3 generations, quietly focusing on our next move when my 17 yr old sister shouted “PENIS!” We all bursted out into an UNCONTROLLABLE laughter (tears and all)!!! she then said it cuts down the tension all the time!

    I agree “sorry Meg, “penis” will never not be funny”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My alcohol of choice was Annie Green Springs (do they even make that anymore?)
    Oh god, now you are going to get the porn crowd … and won’t they be disappointed? All the peni (plural form) and no pictures.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m doing my bit to educate the next generation too. If ever I want to cheer up the boys all I have to do is work “butt”, “balls”, “penis” or “stupid” into the conversation. They also think “hey stop kicking me in the face” is hilarious.

    Liked by 2 people

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