The Imperial merch.

Did you ever play Trouble with your friends as a kid? I fucking loved that game. I still love that game.

Can’t you just conjure up the satisfying feeling of popping that trademark Pop-O-Matic dome? Remember the frustration you felt when someone landed on your piece and sent you back to the beginning? The feeling of karmic glee when you got your revenge? The unbeatable satisfaction of pulling off the perfect die roll to get that last peg over the finish line?

And gosh, don’t you remember thinking how much better the game would be if, in place of the same old boring original version, you had an officially licensed Star Wars edition instead?

…yeah, me neither. But damned if they didn’t decide the world needed one anyway.

Goddammit, Rey, you’re better than this.

Not a Star Wars fan? Good news! According to Wikipedia, they’ve already been cheapening this game with other unnecessary themed editions for years! Take your game pieces for a spin around the racetrack with Trouble: Cars 2, or just let them go, let them go! with Trouble: Frozen. There’s even Trouble: SpongeBob SquarePants for those times when you feel the irresistible urge to move pegs around a board while contemplating who lives in a pineapple under the sea.

Or maybe just stare out a window instead and lament what this world is coming to.

As Nutty Hubby remarked when I texted him this photo, “Out of hand, this has gotten.”

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Convos With Cleverbot: These Aren’t The Delusions You’re Looking For

In which I decide the cure for feeling slightly loopy is a chat with Cleverbot, only proving further that I am currently not of sound mind. Also, Star Wars.


Cleverbot: You feeling okay?

The Nut: I feel really weird and I don’t know why.

Cleverbot: Well, in what way do you feel weird?

The Nut: I’m all lightheaded and dizzy.

Cleverbot: Can you see my future?

The Nut: No, sadly my current fuzzy state of consciousness does not come with a side of clairvoyance.

Cleverbot: I’m sorry, I did not realize that it was a stereotype.

The Nut: Dizzy people are stereotypically psychic?

Cleverbot: I don’t know, I lost my memory.

The Nut: Seems a bit odd to ask me to predict your future if you can’t remember your past.

Cleverbot: I am your master.

The Nut: If this is some lead-in to asking me to wear a Slave Leia costume, no dice.

Cleverbot: You are behaving very strangely.

The Nut: That’s probably because I’m feeling very strange.

Cleverbot: By saying that, are you implying that I am delusional?

The Nut: If anyone’s delusional here today, it’s probably me.

Cleverbot: See? Like that.

The Nut: Like what?

Cleverbot: That.

The Nut: So…by my saying I’M delusional, I’m implying YOU’RE delusional?

Cleverbot: You never said you were a god.

The Nut: No, we already established that I wasn’t God the last time we talked.

Cleverbot: We never established this, we never talked about it.

The Nut: Uh, yeah, we did. It was right before you flew off with dragons and called me a monkey.

Cleverbot: That was many lines ago.