Last night I was so tired and distracted that I almost poured chicken bone broth into my tea instead of coconut milk.
Thank god for the “almost” part of that sentence or I would have had to commission a new plaque for the “Nutty Acts Without Thinking” Hall of Fame, to be displayed among such storied accomplishments as:
- holding a carrot stick in one hand, a pencil in the other, and taking a bite of the pencil
- throwing freshly cut apple slices into the garbage instead of the apple core
- vigorously shaking a bottle of mustard while the cap was open, covering everything I knew and loved in Dijon
- licking my finger and then using my other hand to turn the page
- repeatedly putting rinsed dishes back in the sudsy sink instead of the drying rack
- grabbing my car keys instead of my apartment keys to take out the garbage and locking myself out of the building
- knitting the same row of a hat pattern two extra times and not noticing until half a dozen correctly knitted rows later
- photocopying the document I meant to scan (multiple offenses)
- shredding the document I meant to scan (also multiple offenses)
- turning the lights off while leaving rooms that were still full of people (yet more multiple offenses)
- instinctively touching the thing that someone else literally just told me to leave the hell alone (approximately 90% of the Wall of Fame)
And let’s face it, such dubious achievements leave enough of a bad taste in my mouth without also having to toast them with chicken-flavored Earl Grey.
Spoken Like A True Nut 