I get irrationally excited about fog. You know how in the winter, children will wake up and immediately bolt for the window to check if it’s snowing? That’s what I’m like once October hits, except about fog.
We’ve had some disgustingly beautiful weather the past few days, and I’ll have none of that. It’s October. I’m supposed to be swaddled in layers of fleece hoodies and scarves and gloves with those special fingertips that let you text while wearing them. I’m not supposed to be sweating my way over to Starbucks in a tank top to get my goddamn pumpkin spice latte. How are us white girls supposed to drink our PSLs in our Ugg boots* when it’s not boot weather, I ask you?!
But today…today I knew something was different. The sun still greeted me as I pulled out of our underground parking, yes, but underneath that cheerful glow there was a clamminess to the air and a sense of promise. There will be fog today, that clamminess whispered to me. Don’t worry about that jackass sun, we’ll take care of him. We’ll take care of him REAL good.
I wondered what the clamminess meant by, “we”, but I didn’t ask, because if there’s some kind of organized weather mafia out there, I’d just as soon turn a blind eye.
By the time I got to work, the skies were a flat, uniform grey. As I turned onto our road I could see a haze descending on the mountains through my passenger side window.
Soon, the clamminess whispered.
And then, just before ten, I looked out the window, and a thick swirl of fog looked back.
Slowly, and with much dignity, I rose from my chair, exited my cubicle and strolled casually over to the window. Which involved an impressive amount of self-restraint considering I was as excited as a dog that’s just found its favorite ball behind the sofa. “BALL! BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL!” goes the dog. “FOG! FOG FOG FOG FOG FOG!” goes The Nut.
And I leaned on the windowsill and I gazed at my beloved autumn fog with a big happy stupid grin on my face.
I love October.
*DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ugg boots. I think they’re awful and therefore I am a disgrace to white girls everywhere.