Just The Pic

We apologize for the 3-year delay in your shipment of total BS.

/ Spoken Like A True Nut / 8 Comments

Who needs to spend money on tickets to comedy shows when you can just pay a visit to your Spam folder?

Ah 2013, that long-ago era when the apostrophe was just a twinkle in a grammarian’s eye and FedEx had yet to figure out they could squish all their letters together to make that cute little hidden arrow in the “Ex”.

I bet this is about those X-Ray Specs I ordered way back when and never received. Or maybe the Sea Monkeys? Oooooooh, or the time machine!!!

…goddammit, FedEx, did you steal my time machine?

Orange eternal.

/ Spoken Like A True Nut / 3 Comments

I don’t usually give the opinions of produce the time of day, but I think this tiny pumpkin’s onto something.

Although I admit I’m really enjoying November – in no small part because of my brain’s sudden and unexplained decision to give me time off from my clinical depression – there’s just something about October and its lead-up to All Hallow’s Eve that makes it feel like a fuller, more robust month to live in.

So I’m with the tiny pumpkin. Halloween forever!

Elsa, you don’t have to put on the red light.

/ Spoken Like A True Nut / 13 Comments

Guys I don’t want to alarm anyone but I have a feeling times are currently tough in Arendelle, because it appears that everyone’s favorite song-belting, snow-golem-building ice queen may have resorted to… *ahem* …alternative means of bringing in revenue to the kingdom.

[insert “frozen assets” joke followed by “ba-dum-tss” here]

I dunno, maybe I’m jumping to conclusions. Maybe Elsa just spent a sweaty half hour in Oaken’s trading post sauna and she needed to cool off.
On top of a culinary school sign.
Near one the busiest tourist spots in Vancouver.
Wearing a come-hither stare and not much else.

It could happen.

Either way, we get it, Elsa, the cold doesn’t bother you. Now go put on some damn pants.

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