Convos With Cleverbot: The Fifth Element Of Gallifrey

In which The Nut is temporarily out of ideas and resorts to a chat with her old nemesis, Cleverbot, who is as clueless as ever.


The Nut: Hey.

Cleverbot: How are you doing?

The Nut: I’m bored.

Cleverbot: Why?

The Nut: Because I’ve been sitting in my bathrobe all day doing nothing.

Cleverbot: Well I’m talking to you now.

The Nut: Not much of an improvement, I’m sorry to say.

Cleverbot: I am not sure if you are wrong or right.

The Nut: I’m not sure about that either, most of the time.

Cleverbot: Oh, I am sorry.

The Nut: No you’re not.

Cleverbot: Maybe not, but am human. And you’re not.

The Nut: Here we go again.

Cleverbot: What do you mean, here we go again?

The Nut: With the “you’re not human” crap. Every time we talk you accuse me of not being human.

Cleverbot: I’m not a human. I am a Timelord, from Gallifrey.

The Nut: You are NOT the Doctor.

Cleverbot: Then who is the doctor?

The Nut: The Doctor, obviously.

Cleverbot: What’s the doctors real name?

The Nut: No one knows.

Cleverbot: I know you know the Doctor’s real name, what is it?

The Nut: Can’t tell or the Daleks’ll get me.

Cleverbot: Why not?

The Nut: BECAUSE THE DALEKS WILL GET ME JESUS WHY DON’T YOU EVER LISTEN?

Cleverbot: Who doesn’t like you?

The Nut: You’re a fucking moron.

Cleverbot: Go away if you’re going to talk like that.

The Nut: No.

Cleverbot: Then who are you going to marry?

The Nut: I’m already married.

Cleverbot: Who are you married with?

The Nut: My husband.

Cleverbot: You are a female?

The Nut: No, I am a meat popsicle.

Cleverbot: No you’re not.

The Nut: Sure I am.

Cleverbot: No, no you are not.

The Nut: You don’t know that.

Cleverbot: Neither do you.

The Nut: I’m me. Of course I know.

Cleverbot: Then tell me.

The Nut: I am a meat popsicle.

Cleverbot: Ok.

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4 thoughts on “Convos With Cleverbot: The Fifth Element Of Gallifrey

  1. Thank you! Am in the middle of such a day myself! Sitting in my massive fluffy onesie eating sweet-potato chips while I wait for my porridge to burn/cook (it is WAY past breakfast time!). I should be working. I don’t have time to waste. But today I am pretending to not be a grownup. So now I know there is at least one other person in the same frame of mind. Thank you!

    Like

  2. That’ll make you nervous in the service. Seriously, Cleverbot, it had no fire, no energy, nothing! The Nut has a show to run here and it must pop, POP, POP! and all you do is bomb like Zorg in his final moments.
    Seriously, though, I thought the meat popsicle was Walt Disney.

    Liked by 1 person

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