Because the universe is fully aware that annoying sounds are my biggest Achilles heel, the office ventilation system has recently begun making a noise that is 99% identical in pitch and quality to a telephone dial tone.
I have a love-hate relationship with dial tones. On the one hand they make me nostalgic for a time before texting. Hours spent twirling springy receiver cords in my fingers while chatting away to friends. Covert conversations with boyfriends on warm summer nights, sometimes lasting until dawn. Giddy, naive days of youthful abandon and no real problems.
But that was then. This is 2016, and my metamorphosis into a creature of fluent instant message and emoji has long since reached completion. These days, the only time I use a phone that actually has a dial tone is at work, and I don’t know about you but I feel like that takes the wind out of the ol’ nostalgia sails a little.
So at the end of the day, this whole air duct dial tone impression thing is not only super annoying but also serving to remind me tenfold that I’m currently stuck in an office cubicle waiting for my coworker to go on lunch so I can pull out my phone and get down to business on this week’s Two Dots “treasure hunt”, because I am also a creature of apps and if I don’t get a better score than my friends on social media then what purpose is there to my life?
So…anyone know how to hang up a phone that doesn’t exist?