It’s quiet. Too quiet.

/ Spoken Like A True Nut

So an astute observer will have noticed by now that I kind of suck at posting lately. And by lately I mean the last four months.

Partly because being cooped up in an office working at a computer all day with a cubicle wall between me and the perfect blue summer sky is driving me bonkers, and partly because my (now confirmed) overly high dosage of anti-douchey-thyroid pills have been making me restless and hate-y, I’ve been avoiding my blog like a dog avoiding a bath. And not unlike that hypothetical dirty dog, it stinks.

I want to write, yet I can’t stand to.

Not the best state of affairs for a blogger, eh?

So I’m gonna try and get the ball rolling again with a big giant pic dump, because pictures can do the talking for me and also I will latch onto any excuse to use Prisma nearly to death because it is all the addictiveness.

Speaking of pictures and over-filtering them, little ol’ behind-the-times me finally joined Instagram! So yeah, that’s been a thing I did. A couple of you stalkers have already found me on there (hiya! *waves*) which is awesome, and I’m currently doing Rarasaur’s #somethingist challenge as a way to break in my account, buuuuuuut if we’re being honest I’m mainly in it for all the cute accounts people have created for their pets. Nutty gets a little cranky if she goes too long without her Momo’s Face fix. The excessively edited selfies are just a bonus.

I’ve also been suckered into Pokémon GO, but I’m not cranky about that, because anything able to convince me that walking 20+ kilometers in August temperatures on a Saturday afternoon could ever possibly pass for fun gets a hearty thumbs-up from me and my waistline.

My blisters have blisters, but I don’t care. Worth it.

Plus anyone who tells you the augmented reality mode isn’t ridiculously amusing is just a big old meanie poopface Grinch.

My only gripe is no one can explain to me how a Magikarp, a fish that appears to be knocking vigorously at Death’s door, can manage to escape a Pokéball and run away.

Nutty Hubby is a Cancer. Is it frowned upon to trap your star sign’s mascot in a ball?

So it turns out that half marathon walks every weekend are a great way to see a lot of weird shit around your city.

Like random things that resemble faces…

Duuuuude, like, whoaaaaa…

Life’s rough when you have no bottom jaw.

You ever feel like your gimp mask bag is judging you?

…and other things that look like something…else.

What a piece of junk.

If you’re looking for a sign, there are plenty to choose from…

Barkeep! I’ll have an entendre, please. Wait, better make it a double.

I’m gonna go ahead and assume this story has a happy ending.

Canada: where even the park benches are courteous…

…and kind words of comfort are only a lamppost away.

…but I really really really hope this one wasn’t meant for me.

Um, excuse me miss, I don’t mean to alarm you or anything but there seems to be a GIANT MOTHERFUCKING NEEDLE IN YOUR EYE SWEET FANCY MOSES WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Why is she so calm? WHY IS SHE SO CALM? Is she a robot? Have androids caved to the Botox epidemic?

Let’s move on to something more pleasant before I need to go rock myself in a corner. How about some art?

Materials by SportChek, design by someone whom I can only assume moonlights as one of those ambitiously fancy serial killers from Hannibal.

Ugh, WE GET IT, it rains a lot in Vancouver.

Someone liked this park, so they put a ring on it. In fact they liked it so much they put a second ring on it as a bonus appeasement to the vengeful war goddess Beyoncé.

And who can blame them? Sometimes this city really rocks.

Well, that concludes this How The Nut Spent Her Summer Vacation update. If you would like to help The Nut in her quest to ditch her pesky writer’s block and bury that sucker alive in a shallow grave, post suggestions are welcomed. In the meantime I’m gonna go for a wade through the cesspit that is my drafts folder and see if I can’t fish out something worth polishing. It won’t be fun, but it’s better than a needle to the eye.

32 thoughts on “It’s quiet. Too quiet.”

  2. This is totally the post I am eventually going to write, but heaps better. And how cool is that photo app? I want it.
    I’m blogstipated too, but it’s because I have so much to catch up on I don’t know where to start. Also because I haven’t written regularly for a while I feel like I’ve totally forgotten how to do it. And sometimes when I’m reading more blogs/fic and not writing, rather than get inspired I get totally intimidated. Like, “she wrote a brilliant post inspired by a little sign in a knick knack shop?! I may as well give up now.”
    But I do feel like your example has given me a metaphorical kick up the bum, and I might ease in with photos too. I have been taking rather a lot of them lately.

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    • “Blogstipated” – what a beautiful word! I’ve been in the same place – too much happening; life has been one big bag of blog fodder for the past year, and some of it has been hard and too painful to write about, and because of the hard bits I haven’t wanted to write about the funny bits. I’m back at it now, though – have made a commitment to me to put something out there every week. So far it feels pretty good! So there is hope!

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      • Yes – I know that I’ll feel better just once I start, but it’s just the deciding where to start that’s my problem. 🙂 It doesn’t help that I have this stupid reasoning about posts and doing stuff in the right order, which is only apparent to me and no one else would give a crap about. That’s why… pretty pictures! Can’t go wrong there. 🙂

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        • Oh my word – that could be me speaking! I have a whole BUNCH of posts I want to write, that I can’t write until I post the introductory stuff that will get them in context. I also got stuck on the idea that I had to tell about stuff AS IT HAPPENED – and sometimes that didn’t make sense without context, or it just wasn’t right at that time to write about something I wanted to talk about. (Example: Both my parents died this year. I have needed to write about that, and in fact I recently posted the last of several posts about my Mom … I’m taking a break from death and sadness, but pretty soon will write a couple about my Dad. But funny/good/thought-provoking stuff still happened while that was going on – things that I do want to share. Only how do you write a hilarious story about your grandchildren when you haven’t talked about the fact that your mother just died?)

          I have to tell you, what effectively got me moving was Aussa Lorens’ page on blogging – http://aussalorens.com/non-asshole-blogger-guide/. I love her blog and she’s been phenomenally successful in a way I respect, so I figured I could learn from her. One thing she talks about is writing a bunch of blogs and then scheduling them. I realized that if I did it that way, I could write the immediate story when it was still fresh in my mind, but then put it aside and get the backstory written, as well as any other related stories I might want to tell, and only then schedule them. My goal is to have five posts written and scheduled on an ongoing basis … I’m not there yet, but working toward that has greatly helped me shake things loose.

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        • Aussa Lorens! Yes her posts about her psycho ex were the scariest most thrilling thing I’ve ever read! She must be one helluva woman. Scheduling posts is a great idea – I don’t have a schedule but I have a shitload of drafts in different stages and a list for posting order, but it gets added to and amended quite often.
          I loved your posts about your mum. xx
          After my Dad died being able to compartmentalise a bit helped, I wrote a few of my usual sort of posts, stuff that was happening… because life just kept on happening! And it was nice to write about other things, get my mind off the grief for a while. Plus it was distraction for my family, too, hearing about our adventures. And I did write about Dad – of course – when I was ready. 🙂

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    • Also, I totally understand what you’re saying about wanting to write and yet not being able to stand to. That’s exactly why I went 2 months between posts before finally posting again last night. (I also totally just posted my above comment before I was done writing it. I think I might be a little rusty! 😀 )

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  4. More pareidolia, please.
    It will help me resist the temptation to join the Pokemon Go craze even though I can’t even think about that game without hearing David Attenborough’s voice, thanks to that hilarious video.
    And there’s nothing wrong with catching your spouse’s star sign in a bubble. Unless your spouse is a Cancer because you really don’t want to say you caught Cancer.
    Say you’re going to catch crabs.
    Wait, that sounds almost as bad.

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  8. Post suggestions:
    1) 10 Ways Your Life Resembles Harry Potter’s
    2) The 25 Things You Would Do If You Were A Cat For A Day
    3) Sex: A Beginner’s Guide
    4) Seal: The Other White Meat
    5) 13 Ways You Can Use A Barrette To Make Music
    6) Healing Crystals: Magic? Or Much Ado About Nothing?
    7) My Vagina Is On A Diet, And It Would Appreciate It If You Stopped Offering It Cake
    8) Oops. I Already Wrote That Last Post.
    9) A Different Vagina-Related Post
    10) Cheese — A Love Poem

    There you go. You’re welcome.

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  10. Blogstipated. The quotation marks. The face thing–I notice those everywhere and thought it was just me. I am constantly saying hi to random collections of nails in fences because I swear they are smiling at me. Maybe I should update my meds? Seems we are in the same boat dear. We’ll paddle out together!

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