Quat the heck is your problem?

quat
noun
1. A spot, pimple, or sty. – Collins Dictionary¹
2. Et tu, complexion? – The Nut

Penis.

penis
noun
1. The male genital organ of higher vertebrates, carrying the duct for the transfer of sperm during copulation. In humans and most other mammals it consists largely of erectile tissue and is used also for urination. – Oxford Dictionaries¹
2. LOL, “penis”. – The Nut

There’s a brain fart epidemic in the Nut house.

on the tip of one’s tongue
idiom
1. Used to say that one knows a word, name, etc., but cannot remember it.
– Merriam-Webster¹
2. The reason IMDb exists. – The Nut

Congratulations, you’ve been outwitted by a tree.

numbskull
noun
1. A stupid person; dolt; blockhead. – Collins Dictionary¹
2. Anyone fool enough to leave their car parked on a Vancouver avenue with the sunroof open during cherry blossom season. – The Nut

The Nut, table for one.

masturdating
verb
1. Going out alone. I.e. [sic] seeing a movie by yourself, going to a restaurant alone.
– Urban Dictionary¹
2. I don’t want to brag, but I really know how to show myself a good time. – The Nut

Liquor? I hardly know her!

liquor
noun
1. An alcoholic drink. – Merriam-Webster¹
2. Something Nutty Hubby can’t stand, therefore WOOHOO, MORE FOR ME!
– The Nut

The kites of Kanagawa.

kite
noun
1. Any diurnal bird of prey of the genera Milvus, Elanus, etc, typically having a long forked tail and long broad wings and usually preying on small mammals and insects. – Collins Dictionary¹
2. A pretty pain in the ass that sent me on a two day quest for a four letter word.
– The Nut

Oh, Japan…

Japan
geographical name
1. Country E Asia comprising Honshu, Hokkaido, Kyushu, Shikoku, & other islands in the W Pacific. – Merriam-Webster¹
2. Land of exciting and new WTF moments. – The Nut

The invisible woman.

invisible
adjective
1. Not visible; not perceptible by the eye. – Dictionary.com¹
2. You can’t see me, I’m a ninja. – The Nut

It’s 3am and I’m hurting.

hurt
verb
1. To suffer pain or grief. – Merriam-Webster¹
2. Something everybody does sometimes, according to R.E.M. – The Nut