I’ve had the Timex of my life.

watch
noun
1. A small timepiece worn typically on a strap on one’s wrist. Oxford Dictionaries1
2. I still have one of these, I just keep it in my pocket now and call it an iPhone.
The Nut


One of the great loves of my young life was a watch.

A big, chunky eyesore of a Timex digital watch to be exact, tinted in the questionable color combination of dusty mauve and charcoal grey, and whose original matching rubber strap I  swapped out for a black Velcro wristband with neon green vines embroidered on it almost immediately after purchase.

I was a kid, I didn’t know any better.

I loved my hideous monstrosity of a watch. I loved its light-up screen; its ear-piercing SO HELP ME I WILL BEEP YOU INTO THE NEXT GODDAMN CENTURY alarm; its numerous complex timer modes I had no earthly use for. The satisfying riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip of protest the Velcro wristband made whenever I went to take it off.

Which was, of course, never by choice. When you’re a child and your favorite accessory is water-resistant to 100m, you WILL eat, sleep, and bathe with it on unless explicitly instructed otherwise.

The Viney Purple Timex Of Doom came off my wrist only for special occasions that required me to wear a dress, and even then we were not so easily parted. Into a small beaded purse went the watch, nestled next to my Dr Pepper Lip Smacker2, to be kept close by and as safe as possible until it was allowed back onto my arm where it rightly belonged.

That watch saw me through enough summers that it took me several years and multiple loofahs just to get the tan lines to even think about fading when I finally developed enough fashion sense to stop wearing the thing. And I had kept the strap consistently secured to such a corsetlike degree that even to this day my left wrist is half an inch smaller than my right. Tightlacing FTW?

In retrospect, I probably had a closer relationship with that watch than I did with any living human being until Nutty Hubby came along.

Which makes me feel all the more guilty that I have no idea what actually became of the thing.

I mean, after all we’d been through together, the least I could’ve done was give it a proper goodbye.


Today’s blog post was brought to you by the letter W, the number 1121, and the Beep Beep…Beep Beep…BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Challenge, AKA the Blogging A to Z Challenge.

1 “watch.” OxfordDictionaries.com. Oxford Dictionaries, 2016. Web. 27 April 2016.
2 Also known as the greatest Lip Smacker of all time. Bless you, Bonne Bell. Bless you, Dr Pepper. Truly did Heaven itself smile upon your union.

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12 thoughts on “I’ve had the Timex of my life.

  1. Oh goodness… This brought back memories of my own hideous childhood watch. It was a really simple digital watch with a small clock face, and a pink rubber-ish wristband. I don’t think I even liked pink in that stage of my childhood but I really liked that watch, and wore it for years until … well, I don’t remember… I probably got a new & better one as a present and immediately forgot about the old one

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kid logic, I guess. I hated the color purple because it was my house color at school. On days when we were allowed to come to school in regular clothes instead of our uniforms, we had to be dressed in our house color. So I got sick of purple, and shopping for purple clothes, REAL quick…

      …but then I went and picked out a purple watch which I all but refused to ever take off??

      Kids are weird.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Geez, no pressure or anything! 😛 I can only hope my Z will be up to your high standards.

      I’ve had a handful of other watches, but none I’ve managed to wear consistently. They just end up buried in one of my jewelry boxes and when I eventually unearth them again, the battery’s always worn out and I can’t be arsed to get it replaced.

      Like

  2. For years I was obsessed with the idea of carrying a pocket watch because I thought they looked cool–and let me add this was a long time before anyone had even thought of the word “steampunk”.
    Also I didn’t wear a motorized top hat and telescoping monocle. I had some standards.
    I also discovered that any pocket watch I could afford was meant to be purely decorative and wouldn’t hold up well under the stress of being carried around all the time. I quit wearing watches until my mother in law gave me one made from an old British shilling. It’s badass but in a subtle way, unlike a telescoping monocle.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The shilling watch sounds intriguing. I might make more of an effort to wear a watch regularly again if someone gave me one, but every time I buy one for myself I can just never seem to remember to put it on. Perhaps I simply got all my lifetime’s worth of watch-wearing over with in one go with that Timex.

      Like

  3. Dr. Pepper lipsmacker!! I used to run into Claire’s to get the 4 pack, but always threw out the lemon/lime offering, because ew. 😛 Now that I’m back from Japan, I have such a healthier appreciation for Pepper and root beer, neither of which exist in any form back in Nihon. 😛 I don’t think I’ll need another Coke or Pepsi for another ten years.

    I remember Timex watches. 🙂 I never had one, though. 😦 Just wrist slappers my teacher gave us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We actually saw Dr Pepper in the odd vending machine when we were wandering around Kanagawa, but they were few and far between and only came in really tiny cans.

      What really broke my husband’s heart was the difficulty he had finding Sprite anywhere. Every time a server asked him, “Is ginger ale okay?” I think I saw him die a little inside.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Mine was velcro too – a sports watch so pretty basic and quite fugly. Knew it was time to change the strap when I’d rest my chin on my wrist and catch a whiff of months’ and months’ worth of skin oils, sweat and probably mould. I’ve still got the watch though!

    Liked by 1 person

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