Quat the heck is your problem?

quat
noun
1. A spot, pimple, or sty. – Collins Dictionary¹
2. Et tu, complexion? – The Nut

---

Dear zits,

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

*ahem*

What my esteemed colleagues (myself and I) were attempting to communicate is that you weren’t invited to our thirties.

Look, we had some fun times back in high school. Remember how you used to like to pop up all huge and volcanic on my chin right before special events like prom and graduation and Free Slurpee Day at 7-Eleven? Oh you, always the kidder!

But that was a long time ago. We’re all grown up now…kind of. And I gotta say, you and your friends all suddenly showing your little faces around here again like we’re back in Teenagertown when in fact we’re settling quite comfortably into Chateau Thirty+, well, aren’t we sort of above that kind of thing by now?

Do you have any idea what kind of looks I get plunking a bottle of Clean & Clear down next to my Olay Age Defying night cream at the drugstore?

Confused. Confused is the answer you’re looking for. And I’m no less bewildered.

Just tell me now: is this going to be a recurring thing, like the way flared pants keep going in and out of style, or is this just one last hurrah? Is Puberty: The Sequel going to expand into a full trilogy when I’m fifty-six? Issue a special collector’s edition re-release at eighty-one?

Please say no.

Even if the answer’s yes, say no anyway.

Nutty, Age 105

---

Today’s blog post was brought to you by the letter Q, the number 763, and the Here A Spot There A Spot Everywhere A Fucking Spot Challenge, AKA the Blogging A to Z Challenge.

¹ “quat” CollinsDictionary.com. Collins Dictionary, 2016. Web. 20 April 2016.