I really don’t understand the decorating aesthetic of boutique eyeglass shops. At all. I mean, I’m talking complete and utter bemusement here. Is it a Vancouver thing? Is it a city bylaw that if you’re a trendy little eyewear shop, you have to design your window display to be maximally incomprehensible and 100% unrelated to the services you provide?
Because these stores, without fail, have the weirdest shit in their windows year-round. Sometimes it takes me a full minute of staring from the sidewalk just to realize what the store’s meant to be selling.
Pop quiz! You’re walking down the street and catch a quick glimpse of Fifty Shades of Hipster here out of the corner of your eye.
a) recoil because AAAaaAAaaaAGH CREEPY YARN MAN,
b) assume the store either sells knitting supplies or is owned by cats,
c) start getting ideas on how to spice things up a bit in the bedroom,
d) feel a wave of inferiority because Creepy Yarn Man has a better mustache than you,
e) immediately recognize that of course this is an eyeglass shop, Nutty, DUH, and decide on the spot that anyone who comes up with a window display like this must be without question the best candidate with whom to entrust the continued health and well-being of your eyes and vision.
I wonder if the store’s in-house opticians ever question their life choices on their way in to work.
Because no offense to them, but no matter how qualified and professional you might be, I’m not coming to you for a contact lens fitting if I feel like I need to have two infinity scarves on and a safe word ready just to walk through your door.
Even if Creepy Yarn Guy’s mustache is positively fabulous.