Happy Thanksgiving to all my buddies who hail from the land of stars, stripes, and crying eagles.
As a Canadian who already got all this crap out of the way a month ago, American Thanksgiving feels a little like deja vu, but I do have to give you credit for having yours on a Thursday because thanks to Black Friday you guys have basically managed to milk that shit into a full-blown four day weekend.
Whereas with our inferior Monday version, we have to go back to work on Tuesday like suckers instead of getting up at 5am and lining up for the chance to trample people over discounted merchandise at Walmart.
So go forth, my clever friends. Eat, drink, be merry, be safe, and always remember the most important thing:
Calories don’t count on holidays.