Sometimes I wonder why I’m still on Facebook.
No matter how much I love my friends, some days I just can’t handle the sheer amount of bullshit that shows up in my news feed.
Yet another alarmist urban myth posted by someone who still hasn’t figured out how to Google the validity of something before they click “Share”.
Yet another rabid anti-vaxxer going on a tirade about how she shouldn’t have to poison her little darling just because a few losers with weak immune systems don’t want to be infected with something they might die from.
Yet another spammy event invite from someone who’s turned their entire FB account into one big sales schtick and wants me to buy Tupperware/firming cream/weight-loss shakes/organic hemp karma-boosting sandals from them, and hey, would I maybe think about joining up and selling this shit myself so they can get a 10% referral bonus?
Yet another wall of hate speech about how Obama is ruining America, citing a dozen hyper-biased sites run by conspiracy theorists as peer-reviewed sources.
It’s only a matter of time before every last actual person on my friends list winds up hidden and I’m greeted each day by a news feed consisting only of Mental Floss lists and Oatmeal comics.
My one regret will be that there are no more brilliant AutoCorrect fails to liven up my mornings.
It’s okay, AutoCorrect.
It wouldn’t be the first time alcohol has resulted in children.