NanoPoblano, Day 2: The heat is on.

Bless me, Father, for I have traveled. It has been five days since my last use of a toilet without a heated seat.

Japan…you know I love you. From your stupidly complex rail system that puts the London Underground to shame, to your stunning shrines and landscapes, to your private karaoke booths, you are perfectly eccentric and lovely. But you have issues, Japan. Issues with warmth.

Believe it or not. I am just fine with sitting down on a toilet seat that doesn’t feel like another warm-blooded human being has only just recently vacated it. And don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the sounds of rushing water and chirping birds that accompanied my restroom visit in Disneyland, but are all these things really essential in life? Will my thighs disown me and run off to join the circus if I sit them down on a  regular toilet seat that isn’t at optimum temperature, accompanied by soft jazz and the sounds of nature?

No, they will not. Because your heated seats are creepy. My ass is hot enough without your help. Double entendre intended.

Hot bottled vending machine drinks, on the other hand…why exactly are these not a thing in Canada? ‘Cause dang…good job on those.


13 thoughts on “NanoPoblano, Day 2: The heat is on.

  1. Hahaha! Last time I went to Japan I stayed in a small inn with a shared bathroom. It was bloody cold in the house so you can imagine how confused I was when I entered the toilet in the middle of the night and saw a thermometer on the wall that said 45 degrees. 45? Then I sat down. Oh. OHH! I tell ya, that night I didn’t want to get up. 😛
    I’m doing humorous Japanese lessons over at my blog for NanoPoblano, if you want to check it out. Our posts today are eerily similar. 🙂
    P.S. Were you brave enough to try the hot canned coffee? The closest I came was to take a picture.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When you talk about machines that dispense hot drinks I always think of those crappy vending machines that dispense coffee or hot chocolate and in spite of the clamps on either side the cup falls over or the liquid misses the cup or the liquid comes out first and then the cup falls into place about ten seconds too late. And if the liquid miraculously gets into the cup the cup breaks because a molecule-thin layer of styrofoam isn’t made to take that kind of heat.
    Leave it to the Japanese to come up with a stunningly elegant and impressive solution: hot bottled drink vending machines.
    If they dispense hot sake my wife’s going to be on the next plane to Tokyo.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The hot vending machine idea is BRILLIANT! Unless they somehow screw it up. For some reason I’m imagining egg nog (seasonal thing of course) being dispensed at a heated up temperature, I can only imagine it would come out looking (and tasting) like ugh, “essence of male”.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: A Peck of Crated Peppers | rarasaur

  5. I’m having the opposite toilet experience lately where I’m completely charmed by the fact that they aren’t made from solid chunks of freezing cold stainless steel and don’t flush like a small jet landing. Toilets. Such a big deal! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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