16 thoughts on “The V card trick: Part I

  1. What a brilliant plan! Actually I’m just in awe that it worked out so well for you…or at least the first part. If I may speak for teenage boys I can say all those movies get it exactly right–except for the part about being scared to death of doing something wrong, of pain, blood, misery, possible pregnancy because after-school specials taught us that always happens the first time you do it, and of course just general awkwardness.
    It doesn’t help that girls seem to have it all together and perfectly under control…which is why I’m intensely curious about Part 2.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha, girls have all the same fears, we just have a knack for coming across as more confident than we actually are. I’m sure it’s mostly a defense mechanism. Having our shit together, or at least appearing like we do, gives us a slight upper hand in a situation where we’re otherwise very conspicuously vulnerable.

      After all, the loss of female virginity is almost universally described as an act of vandalism; a male perpetrator breaking in and taking something sacred away from the female, rather than a partnership of equals. That mantle gets thrown over our shoulders by society regardless of our own personal views on the matter. And when you’re at the age where social status means everything, a little blood and pain seem like small potatoes by comparison.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Awww, my comment was eaten. 😦

    Oh well. Looking forward to the next installment. It sounds like you have a whole 90s “Parent Trap”-style plan for this.

    I found out about sex at the tender age of six, when my parents left a TV remote in reach and HBO unlocked. I saw Real Sex… an episode with edible latex body paint. My life was never the same. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What the heck? I can’t believe I missed this when you first posted this. Thanks for the shout out by the way. And now I’m going to reach through the computer and shake you by the shoulders for making us have to wait until installment two. Dammit– I hate waiting! (much like you and your desire to get rid of your virginity I might add). Publish part two already!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: The V card trick: Part II | Spoken Like A True Nut

  5. Pingback: The V card trick: Part III | Spoken Like A True Nut

  6. Ahhh this is brilliant! You’re such a great story teller! I wish I had been so bold at that age, although I was the super chubby/geeky kid until the end of high school, so my first time was definitely more the “OMG YOU LIKE ME, FOR REAL?!?!?!?! OK LET’S DO THIS!!” (just please keep the lights out and don’t look at me!)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Epilogue: Decline and fall of The Spaniard | Spoken Like A True Nut

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