Happy Mother’s Day. You stink.

A couple weeks ago I saw this in my inbox, and I couldn’t stop laughing.

This Mother’s Day, get her a bottle of Chanel as big as her face.

I’m really hoping that bottle has just been Photoshopped larger to show detail. If not, please tell me that someone out there actually got this for their mother and videotaped her reaction, because I would positively LOVE to know how that exchange went.

Mother: “Uh, thanks. I didn’t know Chanel did whiskey decanters. Do I…should I…that is, is this a subtle hint that I need to shower more often?”

Daughter/Son: “Of course not, Mom, I just thought you would like it. Why don’t you try some on?”

Mother: “Oh no, dear, this is far too nice for everyday use. I’ll think save it to be embalmed in.”


Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. If you don’t get that litre of perfume from your kids that you were hoping for, don’t worry. I can hook you up.

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13 thoughts on “Happy Mother’s Day. You stink.

  1. Have you ever been trapped in an elevator with someone wearing an unholy amount of perfume? Have you ever gotten in an elevator and been able to smell the perfume of someone who was in there yesterday? Now I understand these women aren’t idiots with no sense of smell. They have generous children and feel obligated to use up that Mother’s Day gift.

    Happy belated Mother’s Day to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Back when I worked as a grocery store cashier, I had a regular who was at least ninety who always came in with full blue eyeshadow, cherry red lips, and enough perfume on to wilt everything in the floral department. Pretty sure she was using up ALL those Mother’s Day gifts at once.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I too noticed the largeness of the bottle in the ad. I’m so glad when other people have my same observations. I know that the majority of “normal” people are focused on the beauty of the model. Instead I’m like, “I bet I’d need help getting the stopper out of the bottle every time”. Or else I’d jerk it out with great force and make the entire bottle spill over, thus soaking the carpet and the carpet pad and making our home forever smell like a French whorehouse. Whoever designed this bottle needs a good poke in the eye. And a nipple pinch thrown in for good measure as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Chanel, you’ve done it again. | Spoken Like A True Nut

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