This is why I’m The Nut, Part II

I get irrationally excited about fog. You know how in the winter, children will wake up and immediately bolt for the window to check if it’s snowing? That’s what I’m like once October hits, except about fog.

We’ve had some disgustingly beautiful weather the past few days, and I’ll have none of that. It’s October. I’m supposed to be swaddled in layers of fleece hoodies and scarves and gloves with those special fingertips that let you text while wearing them. I’m not supposed to be sweating my way over to Starbucks in a tank top to get my goddamn pumpkin spice latte. How are us white girls supposed to drink our PSLs in our Ugg boots* when it’s not boot weather, I ask you?!

But today…today I knew something was different. The sun still greeted me as I pulled out of our underground parking, yes, but underneath that cheerful glow there was a clamminess to the air and a sense of promise. There will be fog today, that clamminess whispered to me. Don’t worry about that jackass sun, we’ll take care of him. We’ll take care of him REAL good.

I wondered what the clamminess meant by, “we”, but I didn’t ask, because if there’s some kind of organized weather mafia out there, I’d just as soon turn a blind eye.

By the time I got to work, the skies were a flat, uniform grey. As I turned onto our road I could see a haze descending on the mountains through my passenger side window.

Soon, the clamminess whispered.

And then, just before ten, I looked out the window, and a thick swirl of fog looked back.

Slowly, and with much dignity, I rose from my chair, exited my cubicle and strolled casually over to the window. Which involved an impressive amount of self-restraint considering I was as excited as a dog that’s just found its favorite ball behind the sofa. “BALL! BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL!” goes the dog. “FOG! FOG FOG FOG FOG FOG!” goes The Nut.

And I leaned on the windowsill and I gazed at my beloved autumn fog with a big happy stupid grin on my face.

I love October.


*DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ugg boots. I think they’re awful and therefore I am a disgrace to white girls everywhere.

13 thoughts on “This is why I’m The Nut, Part II

  1. Ugg boots cost enough to feed a small third world village AND they look stupid, which is pretty much an unforgivable combination in the world of me. I will admit that I have a pair of furry boot slipper things that I dig because they are warm and comfy and beyond adorable. I, however, refuse to stuff my pant legs into these boot slipper things and parade around in public looking like a complete doofus. Don’t get me wrong, I totally wear them in public from time to time, I just prefer the more subtle, on the down-low sort of wearing. And fog is awesomeness wrapped in yay! no matter what anyone says!


  2. Did you ever read that short story by Stephen King called the Mist (I know it is a movie now with the gorgeous Thomas Jane but the story is still better)? Whenever it is foggy I think about that story and pretend I am the last person left on Earth. Until some bastard car drives by with no consideration for my little fantasy world.


    • Totally. I love going out late on foggy evenings and taking photographs of the roads with no cars on them.

      I actually liked both the story and the film adaptation of The Mist equally, which is a rarity for me. Normally I’ll vastly prefer one over the other.


  3. I totally get this. I actually prefer shitty weather, but then if I ever designed a house it would have no windows because I’m a bit of a cave dweller. How in the hell I ended up in Florida I’ll never know. It was 99 friggin’ degrees when I left work today.

    On the other hand, we got some wicked ass thunderstorms if you wanna stop by.


  4. Pingback: Little rat feet. | Spoken Like A True Nut

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